"this is my skeleton; this is the skin it's in."

dream

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 00:23:20 GMT

From last night:

The setting switches back and forth from an industrial/gothic type city faeryland to a woodsy ethereal faeryland. I was a person, or faery, young female. Bits and chunks are missing from the plot in the beginning. Eventually I meet this man who becomes my lover. He is mostly man but also very lion-like. I find out that he transforms into this largish milky white stone, that glows bright white at the core. When I want to see him, I have to take the stone from the city to the forest and drop it in a small pool of water. He instantly transforms into his lion-man self. So one night I take the stone and drop it in the water. It does not change. I am incensed that he didn't transform and I can't see him. So I take something (a larger rock? a hammer like tool?) and break the stone into many jagged pieces in my rage. Then, the pieces turn into the lion-man; he is alive and talking to me, but still in all these pieces. I am tearful and regretful and try to put him back together. I remember shards of him, especially his lion-like teeth. I can't seem to put him back together. He tells me to put him in a sack and shake it, and then the pieces will start to form into him. So I do that, I remember his teeth in the top of the sack. I shake it and shake it, but it's not working. He's still in pieces.

I wake up.

nyc, x-mas

cara777@gmail.com — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:24:26 GMT

The trip to NYC was a blast. High lights:

- The Metropolitan, of course. The special exhibits included "Cezanne to Picasso," and "Glitter and Doom: German Portraits from the 1920s." I had seen a lot of the Impressionism artists (Manet, Degas, etc) before at other museums, but it's always a treat. The Glitter and Doom exhibit featured artists I was unfamiliar with, but enjoyed, like Otto Dix and Christian Schad. We spent a full half day at the museum, and it was overwhelming but awesome, as always.

- The Broadway show we went to see: The Color Purple. Wow. I can't say much else. It was absolutely... just beautifully done. Oh, and we went to Lindy's Worldwide Famous Cheesecake afterward, to share a slice of the best cheesecake on earth. :-)

- Clancy's Irish Pub on 2nd Ave. This pub was a couple blocks away from the apartment we were borrowing, and we chose it pretty much by chance. It was owned and run by two actual Irishmen from Dublin, who were great. The pub closed at 4am, at which point they bought us our final beer, and invited us to stay and shoot the shit. We didn't leave until after 5, and we had so much fun. Another excerpt of that evening demonstrating the bartender's cool factor was when a random NY crazy started to talk to me and be really creepy, and this bartender (named Red, who had to be at least 40), caught my signals and leaned over the bar to say "What can I do for you? I see you've met my girlfriend." Wherein the crazy kept talking crazy, and the bartender said, "Look lad, unless you want a drink, you best be gettin. I'm real protective of my girl." Then he followed him out the door and made sure he was walking away. Yay for owners who look out for their patrons. :)

Liz took most of the pictures this trip, so as soon as she uploads them, I will share. :)

On another note... oy, Christmas. The state currently owes me mucho bucks for mileage, and it didn't come this last week like it was supposed to, so until I get paid this Wednesday, or until that check comes, I can't do any shopping. So those of you (mainly family, but you all know who you are) who would usually receive a gift from me, expect tardiness this year, and accept my apologies. And if any of you are determined to get me something regardless of my assurances that it is not necessary, I put a few things on an amazon.com wishlist (because another of my frustrations this year is not knowing what to get anyone!!):

vacation

cara777@gmail.com — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 20:09:14 GMT

Just a quick update... London was fun, Scotland is gorgeous and fun, and I'll be in Paris in a couple of days. I promise I'll elaborate when I get home, but these fricken euro-keyboards are driving me nuts. :p I'm taking lots of pictures, beware.... I hope all is well in my lj-friends land.

Makeover Voting Results

cara777@gmail.com — Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:45:47 GMT

So I got the following email this morning:

Hi Cara!
Great news, you received the most votes and you are our next makeover
candidate!

I'll get back with you soon regarding starting the program!

Sincerely,
Ann [last name omitted]
Tucson.com, Tucson Newspapers

Yeah, that's right!! I won!! I'm so incredibly excited about this. Thanks for everyone who voted for me, and to everyone who forwarded it to friends and family. :-)

MakeOver!

cara777@gmail.com — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 04:16:56 GMT

In case you missed my initial posting about this, here's the lowdown:

I'm a finalist in a local contest for a makeover. If I win, I'll get 12 weeks of free personal training, salon & skin care services, etc. The winner is chosen by the votes of you, the public.

So, folks, voting ends March 10th, which means I have 5 days to try to get as many votes as possible! This really means a lot to me, so please go to the following address and put in your two cents:

http://makeover.tucson.com/vote.php

I'm the fourth contestant out of five.

(Hint: You can vote as many times as you have email addresses. Have 3 email addresses? You get 3 votes! ;-) )

Thanks, guys!

makeover!

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 04:42:38 GMT

I'm a finalist in a local competition for a makeover! It would include 12 weeks of free personal training fitness, skin care and other spa services at gadabout salons, etc etc. I could finally lose this weight, and get treatment that I could never afford for my acne! So please go vote for me, I'm competing against 4 other women for this opportunity.

Go here, I'm the 4th one of the five:

http://makeover.tucson.com/vote.php

cara777@gmail.com — Fri, 30 Dec 2005 01:34:57 GMT

1) List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.

*I've a had a crush on you for at least 3 years. Even if we were both single, it would probably never work out, but all the same, I think you're an awesome person, and I wish I could kiss you at least once before I die. Or before we get old and ugly.

*I'm completely and entirely sick of your lies and manipulation. I wish everyone else could see through your bullshit so they would stop giving you sympathy and you would have to be held accountable for your actions. But I still love you, and I miss you when we're not talking.

*You were never there. And you should have been. I hope you know that.

*Even though I love you entirely too much, you bore me to pieces sometimes. I can't help it.

*I think it's hilarious that you hate me even though we've never met. I've read your journal, and I have to tell you, for someone who is supposedly on a spiritual path, and is intelligent, and loving, you are quick to judge and condemn without much evidence or even both sides of the story.

*You don't have the power over me that you think you do. I'm over it. Well, almost.

*You were an asshole, and even though you thought it was just a good bullshit excuse when you said you didn't deserve me, it's true. You don't. Thank the goddess you broke my heart & prevented me from making such a huge mistake.

*Even though we never talk anymore, I still think you're beautiful and talented and incredibly smart, and I'm glad I got to know you for as many years as I did. Even if we never talk again, I hope you know I'll think of you anyway, and I hope you find happiness.

*I can't believe how long I was fooled by your pretty lips and eyes. I'm ashamed it took me so long to see you for what you really are, just because I enjoyed kissing you so much. Although I've almost reached apathy in regard to you, I'll still be happy if I never see you again.

*I see you suffer, and it seems so unnecessary. I don't know if you just need antidepressants, or if you like to suffer, or what, but I wish you would consider the advice so many people offer you. I think you're being fairly blind, and could be so much happier with only minor changes in your attitude and actions.

obituary - Aunt Liz

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 11 May 2005 23:32:11 GMT

SHESTKO, Elizabeth Anna Hofmann, 74, died peacefully on Mother's Day, May 8, 2005. Liz was born December 1, 1930 in Hoboken, NJ to Ferninand and Anna Hofmann. In her early life she was trained as a professional seamstress and created costumes for off-Broadway productions, but later on became a neo-natal nurse working with premature babies at St. Joseph's Hospital. A life-long member of the Catholic Church and a Benedictine oblate for over 30 years. Married to Matthew T. Shestko until his death in 1961, of that union they were blessed with four children. She was a truly devoted loving mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She is survived by her devoted children, Sandra (Alex) Kimmelman, Virginia (Laura) Shestko, Matthew (Dawn) Shestko, Donald (Robin) Shestko, Nelly Dumas; grandchildren, Terra, Kristen, Sasha, Darby, Devon, Jay, Sam, Tim and Daniel; great-grandchildren, Mikala and Mercedes Elizabeth. A special thank you to the wonderful and supportive people of Carondelet Hospice. A rosary and memorial mass will be at 10:45 a.m. Thursday, May 12, 2005 at St. Ambrose's Church, 300 S. Tucson Blvd. Elizabeth lived a good and full life and passed on her love to everyone she met.

feminine hygiene products

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 06 Oct 2004 00:20:17 GMT

Good Goddess, this is hilarious. (I found the link in lilituc's journal.) Don't read it if you get squeamish about female issues. Wow, I'm still laughing.

Cheers!

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 02 Jun 2004 14:35:20 GMT

Last day in England. The sun has actually come out off and on today. I was going to take the bus into Cambridge, but then realized I'm sadly lacking in funds. I really hope I can find a decent job very quickly after I get home.

I called Virgin Atlantic today and told them if they tried to serve me another vegan meal on my flight home I may be reduced to throwing a screaming fit. Well, not exactly in those words, but you get the picture. There are good ways to cook vegan, but the airlines are not the experts apparently. I never requested it, anyway, but they insisted I did, and the flight attendant was pretty determined, so I didn't argue. Many hours later, however, when I was starving, I regretted being so passive. So I told them to change it, and they did, without giving me any crap. So that's good. Maybe I should have asked them to bump me up to first class for free, to make up for my pain and suffering on the previous flight. My sister Jaime would actually do that, I have no doubt.... :p

I have other non-travel related thoughts that I think I will save for a later, more private entry. So this will be my last public post in probably a very long time.. and my last post from Europe.. for this year, anyway. ;o)

just keep swimming

cara777@gmail.com — Sun, 30 May 2004 21:28:17 GMT

"I will call him Squishy
and he will be mine
and he will be my Squishy."

Where did the sun go?

cara777@gmail.com — Sun, 30 May 2004 19:12:23 GMT

I miss it. I bet it's back at home...

So I wasn't going to mention my grades for this last semester, because I'm embarrassed. But I figure I should have some final proof of how much the past four months sucked. I've never done this badly in school.. ever... so I figure it's good evidence to whoever the hell cares that life truly wasn't quite right. I ended up with 3 Bs and 2 Cs. Never again. Next semester: Straight As. Need to bring the ol' GPA back up while I still can... only one year left.

Yeah. I'm ready to be back home. It's great hanging out with my sister... so she can just come back stateside, because this is not my place to be. :P The sightseeing has been great. The UK is gorgeous. I still want to come back next year if I can, and see lots more of Ireland and Scotland. But for now I'm done. I remember around two years ago, being in Greece and Italy and not wanting to go home... yep, there was sun there. And friendlier people, frankly. The international community isn't terribly pleased with us Americans at the moment... go figure.

We still haven't made it to Cambridge; that's supposed to happen Tuesday. My sister has to start her new job Tuesday, so I'll go with her friend Terry, who's a cool gal. Tomorrow is Fordham market... I can't do anymore shopping! I'm tempted to leave all my money at home. The exchange rate between dollar and pound sucks royally right now... Wednesday, I'll get all my crap together. Thursday morning, Chuck will drive me to Heathrow. I should be back in Tucson by 10 or 11 that night.

great britain

cara777@gmail.com — Fri, 21 May 2004 22:04:35 GMT

All is well so far. No one blew up my plane, got here on time... weather was beautiful the first couple days, been a little cloudy/chilly lately. It's awesome to see my sister. Their house here is so cute. So far we've been to Windsor (saw Windsor Castle), Bury St. Edwards market and gardens, various other small town markets/pubs... today in London we went to Camden Town, Covent Garden piazza, Soho, China Town... tomorrow is the big touristy day, going to see the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, Big Ben, at least a couple museums, including the British Museum and the Tate Modern... a nice river tour will take us to the Globe Theater and Greenwich... maybe Westminster Abbey... whatever else we can fit in. If we think we haven't seen enough, we're going back the next day. ;) On Tuesday we're leaving for Dublin for a few days (woohoo!!), and when we get back we're going to drive around for a couple days through Cornwall.

I love travel. If I won the lottery, aside from the usual nice car and a beautiful house for my mom, I would travel as much as possible. I love seeing new things and experiencing different cultures... it puts so much in perspective, you learn a lot. I am so glad I've made this a priority in my life.... I think it always will be.

I think I'll make this post public, so a couple more people can see it than usual. ;)

I miss Randy. But I'm having an awesome time. :)

cara777@gmail.com — Thu, 01 Jan 2004 20:10:19 GMT

I spent the first half an hour of the new year helping a complete stranger who became injured due to stupid drunk people with fireworks. It's amazing how fast one can become sober, just from seeing someone screaming with a bleeding face. All that first aid training is useful, after all. Come on, karma, I did good: send it on back to me this year.

In other news, my first meal of the year consisted of Bruegger's bagels and Starbucks coffee. Doesn't get much better than that.

Happy New Year.

cara777@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Nov 2003 22:21:18 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. :)

cara777@gmail.com — Thu, 25 Sep 2003 04:24:26 GMT

Ok, trying out a new LJ client. Is it working? Testing 1 2.

computers

cara777@gmail.com — Mon, 04 Aug 2003 18:25:28 GMT

So these are the Dell deals:

http://www.dell.com/us/en/fepp/products/model_inspn_inspn_1100.htm

http://www.dell.com/us/en/fepp/offers/specials_bts_dimen2400.htm

http://www.dell.com/us/en/fepp/products/model_dimen_dimen_4600.htm

I still can't decide if I should get a lap top or a desktop.

Also, Circuit City has a HP desktop on sale for $500 (inc. 17" monitor and printer); 2.2 GHz processor, 128 MB memory, 40 GB hard drive, etc.

I really don't know how to make this decision. Blah. I can't spend much more than $700, and of course less than that would be good.

new computer

cara777@gmail.com — Sun, 03 Aug 2003 22:00:32 GMT

So sometime in the near future I am going to buy a new computer. Mine is four years old and beginning to have issues. I haven't decided between buying a desktop or a laptop. I've been researching prices online, so I know how different companies compare in that regard. Does anyone have any advice/cautions or good/bad experience with particular companies? I've never had a laptop, I've always had a desktop - any recommendations there? I don't need a super fast cool gaming computer, I only use it for pretty basic things : school stuff (word processing, online research, Powerpoint presentations), photos, and internet in general. I know my brother has been very happy with his new Apple computers, and I very much value his opinion about these things, but I can't afford an Apple. Dell? Gateway? Compaq? IBM? EMachines?

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 30 Apr 2003 02:06:27 GMT

Sunday night: Ani. It was the last date of her tour. It was awesome. Amazing. Definitely better than the first two concerts of hers I've been to. She performed a couple poems, too, which were incredible. I wish I had that kind of writing talent. I had a great time.

cara777@gmail.com — Tue, 12 Mar 2002 18:41:17 GMT

At Kevin and Lisa's now, in Gaeta. Beautiful area. Lisa and Derek are at a Boy Scout's meeting right now; when they get back we'll all go to dinner.

Metri and Chuck are still in Rome. They're coming down here tomorrow afternoon, then we'll head back to Rome Thursday morning, then back to Greece Friday morning.

I love Italy. Love. I could live here. First I need to see Spain and compare, though. :p Next year, hopefully.

Hey, sweetheart, I miss you, too. I'll try to call again soon.

Mama, pet my doggie for me, please.

Ciao.

cara777@gmail.com — Thu, 01 Nov 2001 07:03:47 GMT

happy halloween

cara777@gmail.com — Wed, 17 Oct 2001 05:21:46 GMT

Yay! The Never Ending Story is on TV! :o) I'm such a sucker for 80s movies... the memories...

As It Was In The Beginning

cara777@gmail.com — Tue, 01 May 2001 21:42:40 GMT

by Thomas Centolella

She was underneath me. I had my hands on her face.
Sunday morning, in a house surrounded by water.
I stroked that rich color you don't find everyday.
Her hair, red and wild, more red, more wild
against the white sheet. The whole place white
but not cold, green hill out the window,
the water gray on its way to silver. We moved
ever so slightly. The house on its moorings creaked.
A little music from her throat, or was it coming
from the bay? We were any two creatures floating.
Wetness everywhere, the whole world liquescent, delicious.
In a white room without time, we were tensed together
without need of time, my hands, my long hands on her face,
the heat there so familiar. Is this prayer, I wanted to know.
And she said, Yes, it is. Make it last forever.

cara777@gmail.com — Tue, 01 May 2001 07:51:38 GMT

Babysat for the Edster today - he's a nut. It's cute while he's 2, but it will be obnoxious by the time he's 5.

I got a bunch of pictures developed, but I'm disappointed with how they turned out. Crappy disposable cameras. My camera never made it back from Sarah Lawrence. :-/ I'm going to try to get a new one as a birthday or christmas present, because I can't afford to buy another one myself.

Brian and I went to the Olive Garden tonight, in celebration of the eve of Beltane. :) Any excuse for getting great food is ok, right? Oh, wait... and now it is officially Beltane. Everyone have a good one. :D It's by far my favorite pagan holiday... all about spring, fertility, youthful joy, and sex... ??~

G'night......